In pursuit of realness
Have you ever found yourself wondering “How the heck did I wind up in this place?”
Just kidding, I know you have so just consider that a rhetorical question. I’m compiling a list of questions now for when I get to heaven so I can ask God why he allowed things to happen the way they did. Sometimes I feel like I am on the cusp of understanding and then the next minute it’s cloudy again.
I share this with you because up until this point I’ve tried to supply you with helpful tips on living a frugal life. How to save money, how to pay off debt faster, how to feel fulfilled on less. But in the process I realize I may have forgotten to share the most important part. It is really freaking hard. Just because I am rocking a cash envelope doesn’t mean I’m happy we need to. Just because we’ve figured out how to cut back on household expenses doesn’t mean I have a smile on my face all the time about it.
Let me paint a picture for you. One of my favorite comedy routines is from Jim Gaffigan when he talks about having a fourth kid. He said when people ask him what it’s like to have 4 kids he says “Just imagine you’re drowning, and then someone hands you a baby.”
I think we all experience that in some way. That moment when you think you’re at capacity and then you get handed more to carry. Maybe it’s your health, maybe it’s relationship issues, or dealing with grief. Or maybe it’s your finances. Maybe a little bit of everything all at once. It is hard. Really stinking hard. Just when you think you start making progress, something unexpected sends you back a few steps.
So this is me reminding you that I’m a real person who gets it. Just this month we had figured out how we were going to make our trip to Disney for my daughter’s show choir performance happen AND get to the next Jurassic Quest event for my son to see his beloved dinosaurs and then we got an unexpected tax bill in the mail which was about the same amount that we needed to make both of those things happen. Talk about a punch in the gut.
We will figure it out. We will be fine. We always are. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have a 5 minute pity party.
So whatever your mountain, you are not alone. I see you friends, I see you.